Letters from the Globe-trotting Flat Boy

Hello every-bullie! DawgMom here! I thought rather than just tell you about Flat Papster's adventures in the Land of Oz, I would just post his emails so you can read all about it in his own words.........

(With his new friends, Dash & Annie)

Email Number One:

G'day DawgMum!! Guess who? Yep, it's me... Flat Papster, woof, woof, and guess where I am? Give up? I'm at DawgUncle John and DawgAunt Sandie's farm at Moto... way, way over here at Orstraya!! I just arrived today and already I've been to visit DawgAunt Sandie's Mum and Dad (oh yeah, did ya know they say "mum" over here instead of "mom"?). We didn't take any photos at DawgAuntie Peggy and DawgUncle Ray's house 'cause DawgAunt Sandie didn't have her camera... she didn't know I'd arrived 'til she was driving out of her gates and found me hanging around her mailbox!!

But DawgAunt Sandie says not to worry 'cause they'll be taking me to a couple of places on the weekend where she can take some speshul photos to send y'all!

I think I'll like my little holiday here. There are two doggies called Dash and Annie, and a cat called Thomas... Dash and Annie seem to like him, even though he's a CAT! Can you believe that... doggies likin' a CAT, for goodness sake. But I reckon ol' Tom had better watch hisself now that The Papster's in town!!

And guess what else they got here? A whole lotta big cows and some liddle baby cows. Boy oh boy, a bully could sure have some fun chasin' that lot around!! And there's two big horseys too.

Anyway DawgMum (I think I oughta call you that while I'm over here, OK?), look out for some photos comin' thru in a coupla days. I'm gunna have a bit of rest now 'cause it was a long, long trip to get here ya know... it took me a whole 8 or 9 days! PHEW... fair dinkum, I'm dog-tired now, I can tell ya!

DawgAuntie Sandie says g'day to everyone over there and she sends big warm Aussie hugs for all my 3D bruvvers and sisters and for you and DawgDad too!!

Catcha later!

Love and licks from The Jetsettin' Flat Papster

Email Number 2:

G'day again DawgMum... the Papster here!!

Boy oh boy, we've had a very busy day over here. First of all, you can tell 3D Pappy that I reckon he fibbed about those flyin' monkeys... I ain't seen nuttin' like that. But they do have these funny big things that look kinda like giant mouseys and they have big tails and big back legs and they jump along really, really fast. And Auntie Sandie said sometimes some of 'em come on her farm and us doggies have to watch out for 'em 'cause they'll hurt us. That's very nasty of 'em, doncha think?

Anyway, first we went to a town called Taree which is about 25kms from Auntie Sandie's house and where she goes shoppin'. You know, for goodies for her doggies and all. It's very nice there 'cause it's next to a big river called The Manning and the people are kind to doggies - they let 'em have fun in the riverside park. Here I am with Unca John at Manning Quays, lookin' at the river...

And while I was there I even 'tended I was a koala and tried to climb a tree!! Check this out...



Anyway, then Auntie Sandie and Unca John took me to see this place called "The Big Oyster" - they said it used to be restaurant, but now it's just a car yard. Too bad, else we coulda gone in and had a nice big bit of steak or something! Here's me with Unca John standing out the front...



OK, so then we went about another 75kms all the way to a town called Bulahdelah and I met Auntie Sandie's boy who's called Nat. His friend Dave was puttin' on a big car and bike show called "Rock, Rattle 'n' Roll" and he'd asked Nat to come all the way from Sydney to be a judge! There were lots of old cars, some old trucks and some really nice motorcycles. You and DawgDad woulda really liked 'em! Unca John was s'posed to take his Ford truck, but the radiator was cracked so I missed out on havin' a ride in it. Dunno what a radiator is, but Nat and Dave were dis'pointed when we arrived in Auntie Sandie's car instead!! Anyhoo, Auntie Sandie and Unca John met a friend of theirs called Dave - a different Dave - and he had his funny old truck there. Auntie Sandie said I should have my photo taken with the truck 'cause it looked like it would make a good "Bullymobile". I hope she wasn't 'sinuating I'm a bit of a junkyard dog!! Anyway, here's me and Nat, with Dave's old Dodge DeSoto... can you see me at the driver's window?? Bet I fooled ya, huh? These weird ol' Aussies drive on the wrong side of the road, hahahahaha!!


So, now here's the last photo. Auntie Sandie didn't know this man, but she asked him speshly if he would have his photo taken with me 'cause I was raisin' lots of money for poor bullies who don't have nice people to look after 'em. Not lucky doggies like 3D Pappy and Feather and Darla, but doggies like LizzaBelle and Skippy who didn't have lots of love until they came to stay with you and DawgDad. Anyhoo, the man was VERY nice and he had a big laugh and then said he'd be happy to let me sit on his.... HARLEY DAVIDSON!!! I'm a bit hard to see, 'cause he was holdin' me very close to his chest so I couldn't fall off. SO... now you can just tell that naughty Pappy, who tried to frighten me, that I didn't see any ol' green lady ridin' on a broom, but down in Bulahdelah one Saturday afternoon the folks did see a brindle and white bully ridin' on a green motorcycle. Woof, woof, aaarrroooooooo!!!!

See ya later DawgMum... hope you like the photos! Dunno where I'm goin' next but I'll let ya know when I get there!!!

Lotsa love and licks from the happy traveller.... The Flat Papster XXXX



From the looks of Dash and Annie, all of them are plumb tuckered out from all the adventures!

A huge Bull Terrier thank you to Sandie and John for helping us with our fundraising project and showing Flat Papster some of the cool sites! For more information on what we are doing and how you can host Flat Papster or Flat Benny to help Bull Terrier Rescue, see this post.

Next globe-trotting Flat Papster is off to Wagga Wagga! And I hear rumors that our US Flat Papster has robbed a bank???

Move Over Johnny Cash

The Papster has arrived on Music Row!!

(hmmm~the fire hydrant or the Musica Statue???)

Well, the Flat Version of him anyway, and he seems to be having a blast running around Nashville.

(what? another flattie??)

The first stop on Flat Papster's Rescue Fundraising tour was none other than the birthplace of 3D Papster in Ashland City, TN, a little town just outside of Nashville. He must have interrupted his Uncle Traveller's supper, see the cottage cheese on Trav's nose? Just like a Bull TerrOr to arrive when food is being served!

(Traveller, 3D Papster's Uncle)

He arrived just in time to celebrate St. Paddy's Day with everyone too! He had an All Access pass to the 18th Avenue Pub Crawl on Music Row. Hope he didn't drink too much green beer, cause he's too young to drink!

(let's get this party started!)

(3D's other Mama, Janice laughs at Flat Papster on the table)

(maybe HE had too much green beer??)

I'm told he is going to work with his other Mama Vicki, then he will be heading to CT to see what trouble he can get into with Gimli, the stiff necked dwarf and his family.

(Gimli is an example of where the donations go, he is a rescue, the scar on his muzzle is from some jerk who tied his mouth shut to make him quit barking!)

For those reading our blog for the first time, or in case you forgot what this is all about, Flat Papster and his friend Flat BenJammin are traveling the globe raising money for Bull Terrier Rescue. Rescuing and fostering Bull Terriers is very dear to my heart and our rescue is always in need of money to help these poor babies who, out of no fault of their own, have found themselves homeless or abused in someway. My dear friend Paula and I feel it is the responsibility of anyone who spends the money to show this wonderful breed to also give back by helping the rescues who are in need. Here's how it works....

Flat Papster and Flat Benny are in a race to see who can go the most places and who can raise the most money for rescue. The "official" race will end in Oct at Silverwood and our Nationals. Both flat boys will be there to present money to our rescue and with a list of places they have been on this Most Excellent Adventure. (if you click on the link it will take you to our Facebook Fan Page)

If you would like to help we ask that you "buy a ticket" by donating at least $5.00 to our rescue. You can mail a check or use PayPal. Be sure to put the name of the Flat Boy you want to visit in the comment box. (lots of folks are having both flat boys visit!) We will then put your address on the list and have him sent on to you ASAP. We ask that you take pictures of the adventures and email them back to one of us so we can post it on our fan page and also here on the blog.

We have 2 of each Flat Boy, one here in the US and another traveling outside the US. We will try to make sure the Flat Boy of your choosing gets to you as fast as possible. Quite a few tickets have been bought so far and are asking if you have a Flat Boy visiting that you try not to hold on to him for any longer than a week before sending him on to his next destination. Paula and I would be forever grateful to you should you decide to participate in this fun fundraiser, but the Bullies you will be helping will benefit from it the most!

To have Flat Papster come visit email him at FlatPapster@aol.com
To have Flat Benny come visit, email him at FlatBenny@yahoo.com
The PayPal account is PaulaShawBTCARSC@aol.com

(Flat Benny or BenJammin as Pappy calls him)

Paula and I hope you will join us in the fun and help our rescue babies at the same time!

Oh and by the way, Flat Papster might be trying to top Johnny Cash, but he will step aside for this man, DawgMom says so!! (for those that don't listen to country music, that's the one and only Conway Twitty)

Click here for DawgMom's all time favorite Conway Song

(Hello Darlin)

Until next time (hint:Flat Papster the globe trotter has made it to the Land of Oz)



Hucklebutts!!

Are y'all ready??

Here we go! What every-Bullie has been waiting for.........Our Rescue Fundraiser idea!!
HARROOOOO!!!!! ......sorry, got carried away with myself.

First things first, this is not our idea, we actually *borrowed* it from Brutus the Frenchie & his way cool Mama! DawgMom did pee-mail Brutus' Mama & ask her first, if she minded if we used the same idea for Bull Terriers. Brutus' Mama is such a way cool Mama, she said Of course we could! So DawgMom told us that we are doin this with her blessing.
(Skippy says: "Blessin? Did y'all eat wifout me??)

Well, DawgMom talked to DawgAunt Paula cause DawgAunt Paula has lotsa Bullies in rescue too lookin for forever homes. Some of her Bullie babies don't even have foster hoomans yet! We knew that DawgAunt Paula was lookin for ways to raise money too, so they decided to do this thing together. DawgAunt Paula is in Mars, PA. No, not ON Mars, she's IN Mars. Bet Miss Fluffy Tail knows where that is.

Our *twist* on what Brutus & his Mama are doin, we are gonna make ours a race!!! Between a young whippersnapper Bull TerrOr~The Papster & an older, wiser, been around the block Bull TerrOr~BenJammin (*note from DawgMom: his name is Benny or Ben, but Pappy thinks he's a "jammin Bull TerrOr so he calls him BenJammin) It's gonna be a race to see who can go to the most places before we all go to them Silverwoods in PA this October!! How cool is that?? But.............

Yep, there's more! We hope to be able to keep on visitin places all over the world as long as we have tickets to go!! How do we get our tickets you ask?? Well, we ask the peeples & doggies & kitties & hammies that want us to come visit to *buy* us a ticket by donating $5.00 to Bull Terrier Rescue! DawgAunt Paula has an account already set up for rescue with PayPal. DawgMom & her are workin on makin a button for our bloggie so you can just Click from Here!
All you doggies & kitties & hammies that live outside of the US don't need to feel left out either, we already have our pass-a-ports & we can go anywheres! I heard a rumor that there's a couple of clones out there of Flat Papster & Flat Benny so they can go overseas, while we stay in the states, that way more of y'all can have us visit in less time! I don't think those clones are like Clacie tho, pretty sure they ain't.

So how cool is that!?!?! Brutus' Mama sure had a good idea & like I said, she's way cool for lettin us *borrow* it from her. Then DawgMom & DawgAunt Paula comin up with the idea of racin to the most places! I mean cool beans is all I can say (DawgMom kinda gave me the idea cause we live so close to the NASCAR track, but I'm not tellin her I listened) Now, I'm worn out from all the excitement over this & if I'm gonna be racin' I need to rest, so I'm gonna give DawgMom the pooter back so she can tell y'all the pacifics on how to *buy* our tickets & junk.

Later taters!

That boy wears ME out with all that excitement! We are very excited about this & hope we can really bring some much needed funds in for rescue & foster.

To have Flat Papster come visit you, please email me your snail address to FlatPapster@aol.com

To have Flat BenJammin come visit, please send your address to Paula FlatBenny@yahoo.com

Then go to PayPal & donate $5.00 to the PayPal account PaulaShawBTCARSC@aol.com
be sure to designate whether it's for Flat Papster's ticket or Flat BenJammin's ticket.

As soon as we get the notice from PayPal which *ticket* has been bought, we will email your address to the person ahead of you that already has Flat Papster or Flat BenJammin & they will mail him right out to you. The cost of the mailing should be less than $1.00. All you need is a business envelope to put him in.


Lastly, I ask that you take a picture (or 2 or 3 or however many you want) & write a blog post about the visit, let me know & we can link to one another's blog. We are very excited about this & the boys promise not to eat you out of house & home, they promise not to potty in the house & they even promise not to steal the covers from your bed! Now that's asking ALOT from a Bull TerrOr so that shows how excited they are about thier upcoming adventures.

For those of you on FaceBook, we have a page over there as well to keep track of where the boys have been. Flat Papster & Flat Benny's Excellent Adventures
You can find us there under the search for friends thing they have.
DawgMom (me) is Angie Taylor Crabtree. Look me up. (as soon as I get permission from DawgAunt Paula I'll post her name here too so you can find her)

I hope I haven't left anything out, if you have a question ask here or email me over on the FlatPapster email.

Thanks in advance to those of you that want to host our boys & most especially from the wonderful Bullies in rescue that you will be helping. The pictures I put up in this post are of the rescues/fosters that we have had here as a tribute to them. (1st: LizzaBelle when we first got her, 2nd: LizzaBelle now, 3rd: Chico, 4th: Skippy, 5th: Vinnie who was rescued by firefighters rappeling down a ravine to get him!)

Thanks again & as they say in NASCAR~Boogity, Boogity, Boogity~ LET'S GO RACIN' BOYS!!


&

A bit of a Delay

(Feather prefers the couch to the snow)

The announcement we were going to make today has been delayed! Wonder whose fault THAT is? DawgMom? Why of course!

(Darla Jean in the snow)

She claims to have gotten tied up making some glass trophies and time just got away from her, yeah right! Maybe we need to tie a clock or watch to her tail so time won't get away from her!

(The Papster~snow nose)

On a good note though, she did take us on long walkies today since the sun was shining and it was pretty outside for once, so guess we can forgive her.

(LizzaBelle hunting chip-monkies)

We will have the announcement ready by tomorrow night or Monday morning though. I think DawgMom likes to keep every-bullie in suspense.

(FD Skippy snow walkin)

(FD means Foster Dude)

See y'all later taters

Wordless Wednesday~but I wanna talk!!

(my boo-timous mama, China Doll)
(me & my brother Winston at the Silverwoods)

(Me & Winston, nose sugars)

(Me & my sister, Callie-Claire in the Silverwoods last year)

Ok, enough of this nonsense about wordless Wednesday when I wanna talk! It's a load of Bull and not the good kind like us Bullies! So, while DawgMom is in her dumb stained glass room (she calls it a *studio* well whoop-dee-doo, it's a dumb ol' room with alot of colored glass in it that we are not allowed to go in) any ol who, while she's in there working on more dumb glass thingies, I'M GONNA TALK! Wait.....what???

Feather-Pappy yer gonna get in trouble!

Pappy-Not if you shut your face I won't.

Feather-I'm tellin ya, DawgMom said go to bed!

Pappy-Who are you now, the Bullie Hall Monitor?

Feather-Ok, I'm just sayin'

Pappy-Well how about you just DON'T say & do like DawgMom said, Go To Bed!

Where was I? Oh yeah, I'm pretty tired of this whole Wordless Wednesday, I see other dogs post things on Wednesday & THEY say stuff. So.........Ima post pictures of me & my sister Callie-Claire & my brother Winston & my mama China Doll when we were in the Silverwoods last year. We had so much fun there! It was in some place called Oar-Lan-Doe & it was so hot! I mean blastin hot, like hades. But we still had fun. I got to sleep in the big bed in the hotel room & it was just me & DawgMom, I didn't have to share with DawgDaddy or anybully else. Then the next night, I sleeped in my own den that DawgMom brought with us & Darla sleeped with DawgMom. Something about it was just bein fair-whatever, I didn't think it was fair to ME! WHAT?...Wait, what?....

Darla-Pappy will ya quit whinin about me sleepin in the big bed? I mean really it was LAST year!

Pappy-Yeah well maybe it was last year, but it still wasn't fair.

Darla-Yeah well give it a rest already!

Pappy-blah, blah, blah yer supposed to be in bed.

Darla-you are too, want me to get DawgMom?

Pappy-Go ahead, I'm not skeered.

Darla-we'll see (*evil grin*)

So ANYWAY, before I was so rudely interupped again......all the Bull TerrOr people are havin them Silver Woods again this weekend, but we don't get to go! What a bummer! DawgMom says we can't cause the Silver Woods are in some place called Sand-Ho-Say & it's too far for us to go. NOT FAIR, totally NOT FAIR, I had fun last year & I wanna go again! She said we could go next October cause it will be in Filly-del-fee-uh next year. I wish somebully could tell me how them Silver Woods keep movin around! So I wanna tell all my Bullie friends that get to go to them Silver Woods this year to have fun & get some ear scritches for me. WHAA.....uh oh!....

DawgMom-EXCUSE ME MISTER, why are you out of bed?!

Pappy-uh...uh...uh

Feather- I TOLD ya!

Darla-BOL BOL BOL BOL, smartie pants got caught! BOL BOL BOL

Pappy-shut up ya'll

DawgMom-BED, right now Mister, you are not supposed to be on the computer

Feather-I think he was surfin eBay DawgMom, he was lookin at toys.

Pappy-was not

Darla-was to

Pappy-was not

Feather-was to

Pappy-DAWGMOM I was NOT!

DawgMom-all y'all go to bed. Good night my sweet kids!

Pappy-Can I at least tell my friends Good Night?

I gotta go, I think somebully ratted me out. Night y'all hope you liked my Whining Wednesday

(note from DawgMom~Pappy is a little on the whiny side sometimes, but the girls don't help that a bit by picking at him & teasing him. Also what he is calling the "Silver Woods" is actually called Silverwood. It's a yearly event put on by the Bull Terrier Club of America that crowns the Best American Bred Bull Terrier. It rotates across the country, being hosted by one of the regional Bull Terrier Clubs and this year was San Jose, CA, next year Philadelphia, PA, and in 2011 it will be back on Orlando, FL. This is event is held in conjunction with the National Specialty each year and folks come from all over the US & other countries to compete or just be surrounded by our beloved Bullies)

We're baaack!!

(me tellin Dad to hurry with supper)

Where to begin, where to begin??
First of all, we have missed everyone! REAL bad! And we are sorry if we worried anybody, it really wasn't our fault, it's DawgMom's! And we just want to know one thing? How come our peeples can put us on ground-ashuns but we can't put them on ground-ashuns? THAT is just not fair! But to be fair to DawgMom, we have been really busy & crazy here lately.

We have so much to catch up on....

First, we got this cool "Paw it Forward" package from Checkers the Peek-a-Poo right after DawgMom stopped letting us play on our bloggie! She did at least let us send him an email & say thank you, but we didn't get to post about it. We got lots of cool pressies in there, treats, bisquits, toys, man does Checkers know how to pick good pressies!! Now we want to "Paw it Forward" too, so to be fair, instead of the first 3 to comment since some of our bloggie friends might be in bed when this posts or sumpthin, we'll pick from the comments with the comment picker thingie (around here that would be Peggy Sue the Poodle) we'll put all the names in a bowl & let her pick 3 of them. We hope that is ok with everyone, but it just don't seem fair to say the first 3 when we have bloggie friends from everywhere & some of them are not on the same time as we are. Be sure to go visit Checkers, his Mom sells pet insurance that looks like some pretty awesome stuff, check it out!

(Peggy Sue, official number picker)

Next, DawgMom has been working on a new website for DawgDaddy's work. They have an auto repair shop and have been needin a website for a long time so she decided to make one for him. ya'll will have to check it out, she said to tell you she's still workin on it so there is still alot to do.
http://www.commonwealthcarcare.com/

(Pappy sittin like all us Bull Terrors do)

Let's see? What else? Oh yeah, DawgMom had a family rebellion too while we were AWOL. She got to visit with alot of her kinfolk, some that she hasn't seen in alot of years and boy did she like that. Course we didn't get to go, we never do. Sheesh!

Last week the brats in this neighborhood were teasin our little brothers and sisters threatenin to hit them with sticks!! Yep, we are still in this dumb ol neighborhood and still not in our house in the woods!! Just about all our stuff is moved there now, but DawgMom said we still need kitchen cabinets to be put up, then we can go. Well SHE needs cabinets, WE don't so why can't we just get the heck out of dodge for cryin out loud?? Anyways, DawgMom wouldn't let us out when those kids were outside cause she didn't want us to put a big hole in the fence that they would have to fix, but those brats were tryin to HIT our brothers and sisters!! I mean really, what are we supposed to do, sit back and do nothin??? DawgMom said she handled it, but we sure would have liked to help! DawgMom was so mad she started shakin when she heard that one brat say "Let me hit them with a stick and see what they do" Can you believe that?? Now we know alot of ya'll have kids of your very own, but we don't and the only ones we know are mean to us, so will you please tell us how we are supposed to like them when they try to hit us with sticks and things? Seriously, we really want to like them, but just don't know how.

(Darla Jean sniffin around the yard)

Can you believe DawgMom is already sayin get off the 'puter it's time for us all to go out potty since we had supper?? We PROMISE we will make her let us come back here and try not to let it go so long next time. Since she is retirin real soon & we will be in our new house within a couple of weeks, she will have more time to let us. After we potty, we'll try to start catchin up on bloggies.

(LizzaBella after diggin in the yard)

Finally before I go, LizzaBella is doin so much better! Look how happy she is now, you can see it on her face! She has learned to dig in the yard, look how dirty she is! DawgMom doesn't even get upset about havin to fill in holes, she's just so glad that LizzaBella is finally learnin how to be a Bull Terror. Look how much weight she has put on too!


We love ya'll, and we miss ya'll!!

Sugar-Riffic Photo Contest

Our friend Sugar has challenged every-bully to post pickchurs & enter her Sugar-Riffic Photo Contest. Here's what she says...

....places I've found Sugar to inspire everyone to get creative for our own Sugar-Riffic photo contest! Post a picture of your pet in a compromising location on your blog by July 1, send me a link to your post and we will pick some winners!!!

This is gonna be fun! Now, DawgMom finds us in all kinds of places, places that makes her ask "How the heck did you get THERE??" We just BOL at her & tell her nuffin! BOL! The girls are REAL good at it, of course, they're older & they've learned to make it hard for her to use that flashie thingie to prove we was there. Me, on the other hand, I ain't quite learned that yet, so DawgMom managed to catch me in a few places with the flashie thingie, but this is her favorite! I know ya'll think I'm bein cute, admit it! DawgMom thinks so too. So here's a few pickchurs for ya'll to laugh at & for Sugar's contest.

Ya'll head over to Sugar's place, read all about it, check out some of the places Sugar's Mama has found her, she's GOOOOOD!

Later Taters,

Space - - - - the Final Frontier....

Ok, first things first, a BIG thank you to my new BFF & hero, Mango for all his detective work & being smarterer than me & gettin pictures, ACTUAL pictures of the whole, scaryful ordeal! Mango, you rock!!

Now, please for ya'll that might be scared real easy, beware, this is not a pretty tale, I mean it's not like I went to Disney World or nothin!

Here we were, at the Fairgrounds, getting ready for the Dog Show, waitin on all the other dogs to get there in their houses on wheels. I was mindin my own business, really I was & I heard this strange whirrin sound. It sounded like a big, giant bumblebee, it rocked our house on wheels!! There was a big flash of light that blinded me & I couldn't see nothin.

Then out of that bright light I heard a voice roar "YOU, what planet is this??" Well, how am I supposed to know that? So I said, "I think it's Planet Bull Terror, what planet are you lookin for?" Well, that musta really made this voice mad, cause he was all like...."I ask the questions around here, not you! Q.U.I.E.T.!! you Bull Terror you!!"

Well I was!! I didn't say nothin else!! That roarin light was worse than the boogeymans & his fambly that hides in our backyard!! That dude was the scaryfullestest thing I've ever not seen! All hidin in that light, blindin me & yellin at me. (**shivers**) gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinkin about it again!

Next thing I know, I'm strapped in this chair & bein poked at & looked at & touched. I thought to myself, "Self, I said, you'll be lucky to make it out of this alive" And I said to the Powers that Be "I promise, I will never, ever be a brat to my siblins again, I will be good & I'll always eat all my brussel sprouts, I SWEAR!" I don't know how long I was strapped in that chair, but it musta been a long, long time. Dawgmom said I aka Pappy Egg-Head Alien did all that bad stuff all weekend, so it musta been for a couple of days. I tried to tell DawgMom & DawgDaddy I didn't need no microchip to tell me who I was, but they were determined to stick me with that needle & shoot a chip in me. All that did was tell those creechtures where to find me, I just know it, so teckneckly it's DawgMom's fault that happened, not mine!

Can someone tell me how DawgMom, DawgDaddy, Aunt Karen, Uncle Jerry & them other Bullmastiff peoples with them did NOT see that ship flyin around above them?? Well, I know why.... They were so busy stuffin their faces at the Bullmastiff cookout party, they didn't even notice it! Real bright, huh? That big thing, right above their heads & all they see is foodables! Stuffin their faces & drinkin beer & duck farts. That would have given them a clue about the Pappy Egg-Head Alien! (*DawgMom note: Duck Farts are 1 shot of Kahlua, 1 shot of Crown Royal & 1 shot of St. Brendans Irish Cream Liqueur, mixed with milk on ice)

Them weirdo, yellin from the light creechtures think they're funny too, they think since I have an egg-head I must be an egg-head. Well, hello, it was the Pappy Egg-Head Alien that was bein all stoopid all weekend, not me! Check him out....

I don't know how Mango got those pictures & frankly I don't care how he got them, I'm just glad he had his detectives workin in East TN that day so he could save my good name & prove to DawgMom it wasn't my fault! It got me off groundashun & outta perculatory & that's all that matters to me!

I think I'm gonna go tell my story to these people & get the word out that Tennessee has more than just hillbillies in these hills, there's scareyful bein thingies here too, so BE CAREFUL!! And another thing....Where the heck was Will Smith all last weekend? I coulda used his help!