Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Space - - - - the Final Frontier....

Ok, first things first, a BIG thank you to my new BFF & hero, Mango for all his detective work & being smarterer than me & gettin pictures, ACTUAL pictures of the whole, scaryful ordeal! Mango, you rock!!
Now, please for ya'll that might be scared real easy, beware, this is not a pretty tale, I mean it's not like I went to Disney World or nothin!

Here we were, at the Fairgrounds, getting ready for the Dog Show, waitin on all the other dogs to get there in their houses on wheels. I was mindin my own business, really I was & I heard this strange whirrin sound. It sounded like a big, giant bumblebee, it rocked our house on wheels!! There was a big flash of light that blinded me & I couldn't see nothin.
Then out of that bright light I heard a voice roar "YOU, what planet is this??" Well, how am I supposed to know that? So I said, "I think it's Planet Bull Terror, what planet are you lookin for?" Well, that musta really made this voice mad, cause he was all like...."I ask the questions around here, not you! Q.U.I.E.T.!! you Bull Terror you!!"

Well I was!! I didn't say nothin else!! That roarin light was worse than the boogeymans & his fambly that hides in our backyard!! That dude was the scaryfullestest thing I've ever not seen! All hidin in that light, blindin me & yellin at me. (**shivers**) gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinkin about it again!

Next thing I know, I'm strapped in this chair & bein poked at & looked at & touched. I thought to myself, "Self, I said, you'll be lucky to make it out of this alive" And I said to the Powers that Be "I promise, I will never, ever be a brat to my siblins again, I will be good & I'll always eat all my brussel sprouts, I SWEAR!" I don't know how long I was strapped in that chair, but it musta been a long, long time. Dawgmom said I aka Pappy Egg-Head Alien did all that bad stuff all weekend, so it musta been for a couple of days. I tried to tell DawgMom & DawgDaddy I didn't need no microchip to tell me who I was, but they were determined to stick me with that needle & shoot a chip in me. All that did was tell those creechtures where to find me, I just know it, so teckneckly it's DawgMom's fault that happened, not mine!
Can someone tell me how DawgMom, DawgDaddy, Aunt Karen, Uncle Jerry & them other Bullmastiff peoples with them did NOT see that ship flyin around above them?? Well, I know why.... They were so busy stuffin their faces at the Bullmastiff cookout party, they didn't even notice it! Real bright, huh? That big thing, right above their heads & all they see is foodables! Stuffin their faces & drinkin beer & duck farts. That would have given them a clue about the Pappy Egg-Head Alien! (*DawgMom note: Duck Farts are 1 shot of Kahlua, 1 shot of Crown Royal & 1 shot of St. Brendans Irish Cream Liqueur, mixed with milk on ice)

Them weirdo, yellin from the light creechtures think they're funny too, they think since I have an egg-head I must be an egg-head. Well, hello, it was the Pappy Egg-Head Alien that was bein all stoopid all weekend, not me! Check him out....

I don't know how Mango got those pictures & frankly I don't care how he got them, I'm just glad he had his detectives workin in East TN that day so he could save my good name & prove to DawgMom it wasn't my fault! It got me off groundashun & outta perculatory & that's all that matters to me!
I think I'm gonna go tell my story to these people & get the word out that Tennessee has more than just hillbillies in these hills, there's scareyful bein thingies here too, so BE CAREFUL!! And another thing....Where the heck was Will Smith all last weekend? I coulda used his help!


Bijou said...

Hi Pappy,

Mom says you should contact Fox Mulder. He used to be with the F.B.I. His job was to investigate all kinds of paranormal stuff. Unfortunately, the last time Mulder and his partner Scully were seen, they were rowing a boat toward an unnamed tropical island. Whatever else you do, do NOT contact Chris Carter cause he will just mess everything up.

Good Luck


NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! said...

Brussels Sprouts!


PeeEssWoo: That Mango kikhks some serious butt!

Astrid Keel said...


sounds like your mom needs to apologize to you (not the other way around!) for not protektin' you from those evil aliens! We're so glad you're safe from those weirdo creatures.

Huskee and Hershey said...

Uhhh... this is kinda spooky. They poked and prodded you? Kinda reminds me of how they outraged my modesty at the vet (they poked something cold and hard into my bum).. gosh.. the indignity of it all!

Princess Eva and Brice said...

Now we're scared cuz we have those little chippy things in us too!

Princess Eva

Dexter said...

Pappy! I sure hope that now that your Mom has seen these ACTUAL PHOTOS that she will be more understanding. See? That's why I don't go to those dog shows. They are obviously alien pick up spots.


P.S. Hope you didn't get the alien anal probe.

Woodrow, Luna, MJ Campanella said...

Poor Pappy happy you are back and we got ride of those imposters - thanx Mango for all you assistance in helping our fellow bull boy.

Pappy boy you need to be more careful who you mouth off to - and you have to protect your sisters they are girls and need protection (except i fear feather could kick everyones butts if provoked like my sweetie)


Bruce said...

Scary stuff dude, scary stuff! Too bad they didn't wipe your memory clean so you wouldn't have to remember this horrible experience!

Tee said...

Hello Pappy,

That sounds like the V-E-T to us! We gets poked and prodded whenever he comes ... and yes, he has a loud bellowing voice too and drives some kind of contraption take makes a huge whirring sound.


Licks and Wags

TUffy and the Dog WOods Pack

Brind'Amour Clumbers said...

Uhhhhhhh, that stuff looks kind of scary.


The Luke said...

Sound to me like...

You got a chip on your shoulder!!!

Happen to best of us!

wif love from the Luke

The Luke said...

Look like to me...

You got chip on your shoulder!!!

(snicker snicker snicker)

Not to worry... I got one too!

wif love from the Luke

The Devil Dog said...

Oh Pappy, that was horrible, what a thing to happen to you. Too bad you did not know me then, you could have called on me, Roxy, the Ninja Pug and her sidekick mom and we would have rescued you. Remember that for next time, okay?


PS Brussel Sprouts? YUK! Try broccoli, it's much better.

Martine said...

Papster... Sugar told me to tell you that in order to appear deaf all you have to do NEVER EVER react to tricks.... like dangling keys behind your ears.... coming when your name is called and most importantly giving the "huh??" expression.... good luck!

xo martine & sugar

The Army of Four said...

Oh, no! That's so SCARY! I had to put my paws over my eyes!

Rachel said...

Oh my!!! Somebody needs to alert Star magazine. You've got the chip to prove it right?

♥Mona + Prissy + Angel Weenie♥ said...

OH NO!! How terrible for you.
I am so glad you came out of all that alive. Mommy said brussel sprours are just baby cabbages that somebodies pocked before they grew up but she loves them...I say keep then out of my dinner bowl.


Guardian Angel Ziggy said...

Oh my Pappy!

It sounds like you had one scary experience. I do not have a chip, but Pedro does! I wonder if the aliens put it in him too? Hmmmm...

Happy Trails
Ziggy Marley

Anonymous said...

Hey Bull Terrors!!! Thanks for volunteering for the Whack-A-Squirrel Army! Consider yourselves our newest recruits! This alien stuff is pretty scary... guess we have more than squirrels to worry about now. Woof, Tank

P.S. Gotta comment on your blog theme --- LOVE the monkeys!!!

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

You got to be kiddin' us...aliens??? (Lacie's wonderin' if they DATE???)

OMD...and Mango actually got pix??? You could win a Pullitizer for this excellent reportin'....!!!!

We're thinkin' that we might have to postpone our visit to Tennessee...sounds a little to much like the vettie for us???!!!

Barkin' at ya...

Scruffy, Lac and Stan

Pee here...did ya happen to get that alien's cell number?????

The Oceanside Animals said...

hello pappy its dennis the vizsla dog hay thank yoo for stopping by and oh wow!!! i thawt i had problims with the rodents and ninja hedjhogs at leest my nemeseseses ar terrestrial!!! wel eksept for capn tater hoo layter bekaym darth tater but we fried him in a jiant vat of oil ennyway hope yore alien enkownters ar over with for now!!! ok bye

Joe Stains said...

OMDOG dude, I didnt realize it was THAT BAD. I am going to go hide.